Lemon Drop Falls by Heather Clark

Author:Heather Clark
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: JUVENILE FICTION / Social Themes / Death, Grief, Bereavement / Family / General / Sports & Recreation / Camping & Outdoor Activities
Publisher: North Star Editions
Published: 2022-08-15T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 26

After

A couple of hours of booting my soccer ball over the wide,

grassy field in the middle of the campground is what I really need right now. But I deliberately left my ball off the packing list—not wanting the daily reminder that I don’t play anymore.

Plan B is in ruins. I don’t know how to CLEANUP to get us out of Plan C, and it feels like we’re headed for Plan D—DISASTER.

Dad’s acted a little Foggy since we bailed on the hike, but I still hammock-nap all afternoon to avoid him, while he plays card games with Budge and Janie and buys us ice cream as a consolation for missing the arch.

Over our canned vegetable soup dinner, he watches me with worried, full-focus eyes. And before bed, he tells me to wait by the fire while he tucks in Budge and Janie so we can talk.

I feel like I did in May, waiting in the principal’s office with Mr. Yamamoto for Mom to come pick me up after Morgan’s Stupidest Decision Ever.

Dad takes the chair across from me and snaps on the red lantern. The fluorescent bulb flares erratically to life, and I blink against the glare.

He holds out the open canister of lemon drops and raises an eyebrow.

I twist my principal’s office hands together in my lap and shake my head.

Janie’s giggles and Budge’s answering squeals reach us from the tent, along with the rubber-squeaking sounds of them bouncing on our air mattresses.

Dad laugh-sighs, shaking his head. The dim light from the lantern makes his face all spooky-ghost-story-tellerish. He pops a lemon drop into his own mouth, sucking on the candy in silence.

It’s like he’s waiting for it to turn sweet before he can talk.

“It turns out I’m not a perfect parent.” He makes the sign of an explosion by his temple, like this information will blow my mind.

I attempt a laugh.

“I know. Hard to believe.” He’s always more comfortable with the silly stuff. “It’s just . . . I’m kind of feeling around in the dark, trying to figure all of this out alone. Without your mom, you know? Budge and Janie are still pretty easy. I can cheer them up by spelling weird words or buying ice cream.”

I nod.

“But you have more stuff going on. More stuff hurting you. And it’s not like you have to tell me everything, but—” He waits like he hopes I’ll do just that.

When I don’t, he sighs. I hate how sad he looks.

“I’m worried about you, Morgan, and I feel like I’ve really messed up. This summer kind of just . . . slipped away from me. I kept trying to find help to take the burden off you, because I know you’re carrying way more than someone your age should—”

I knew my panic attack today would make him worry. Make him start trying to fix everything.

“I’m fine.” I force a bright smile that probably looks creepy in the lantern light. “Really. I just wasn’t feeling well today. You don’t need to worry.

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